April is Child Abuse Awareness Month
Homage for the Suffering Child Abuse Awareness Month
In spite of all the news coverage we see every day, the vast majority are caring and nurturing parents. However, there are horrible, insensitive people who are parents to young children; parents who do unspeakable harm to their children and to other children.
Because April is Child Abuse Awareness Month, we should be aware of the horrific experiences children suffer at the hands of their parents and other adults. This first video is an homage to 21 young children: Ti'arra Woodward, Kiesha Weippeart, Jared Klien , Judith Barsi, Riley Sawyers , Nixzmary Brown, Elijah Dillard, Kelsey Briggs, Summer Phelps, Emani Moss, Devin Parsons , Nubia Barahona, Ame Deal, Oscar Jimenez, Natalynn Miller, Neveah Gallegos, Tyler Raines, Lauren Belius, Daisai Derzon, Monica Gonzales, Rosalia Garcia Quintana This next video is extremely difficult to watch without feeling deep pain and sorrow. Even though the title of the video is "Don't Look Away: A Child Abuse Awareness Video." PLEASE DO NOT WATCH THIS VIDEO if you would not feel comfortable watching the results of real horror, the type you would see in the horror movies.
Don't Look Away: A Child Abuse Awareness Video PLEASE DO NOT WATCH THIS VIDEO without due CAUTION
My deepest apologies for the horrific scenes in this video; however, as the individual who created this video, Heather Cline said, "This video's purpose is to make people aware of how real child abuse is. Child abuse is too serious to be sugarcoated."
Some comments listed include, "I couldnt even ever imagine doing such things to my own child, to anyones child, to anyone as a matter of fact. Some people are just so sick and twisted its horrible!"; "this video made me weeping and i end up hugging my litlle angel.........May God teach evry parents to love their child in the most special way.......... i have a 13 month old baby boy and this video is a reminder for us parents to give our children the best and happy life !!!!! i love u baby kurt........."; and "If you are for spankings,whippings or corporal punishment in any form you are to blame just as much as these child abusers. Who are you to say where to draw the line.
The last comment leads to us and with what I would like to finish. Personally, I am not against corporal punishment--IF AND ONLY IF IT IS A CONTROLLED AND DELIBERATE punishment. I was a good kid. I hardly ever got into trouble; however, whenever I did, my mother would sit down on a kitchen chair and tell me to come over to her and drop my pants. She then "helped" me to lay me across her thighs and then she gave me 4 to 5 smacks on my rear end. She then helped me pull my pants up as she told me, "This hurt me more than it hurt me." Then she gave me a hug and said "I love you." I still believe it hurt me more than my mom, though I always believed I deserved the punishment (in most cases) and I always knew my mother loved me.
Years later, my wife and I had custody of our grandson. She had to return to her native country for six weeks and so, I had sole custody of our grandson for that time. I worked at home; thus, with occasional help from my sister-in-law and her aunt, I was able to manage for the six weeks.
I had been teaching my 2-year grandson how to use the computer with some educational games. One day, during those six weeks, my grandson found my backup tapes--not just one of them, but all three tapes. He took the tapes and pulled out the tape ribbons and played with them, i.e. he made them unusable. I lost all my backups and I was extremely upset.
What would you do?
I can imagine some parent would have picked up his child, yell at him, and given him an uncontrolled spanking on his legs or face (diapers would have protected the child from an ordinary spanking).
Well, I was extremely angry. I came out of my office; firmly, yet gently, grabbed my grandson; and sat him in my chair. I showed him the tapes and with a stern and angry tone of voice, I said, "Sit the heck down and don't you move." I then went into my office and vented my anger by ransacking my office. By the time I finished, the room looked like a tornado hit it. Finally, I went back out to give another stern warning to "never, ever do this again." Then, as my mother did to me, I hugged my grandson and said that i loved him. A rarely used, stern and angry voice was all I had to do to make him understand.
You may be wondering why I didn't spank my grandson since I am not opposed to corporal punishment. First, a parent (or a spouse) needs to cool down and be in control before taking action. Corporal punished must be used only when you are in control of your senses.
At that moment, I was too angry and upset. That's why I went I went into my office and thrashed. I did not want to start slapping and hitting my grandson. Years before, I came very close to doing just that with my stepson; so close that it frightened me. Thankfully, I came to my senses before I went too far. My mother thankfully was in total control whenever she spanked me. I felt no resentment towards her since I generally deserved it. ALWAYS vent your anger towards something, not someone
Second, my grandson was only two years old. He didn't know he did wrong and it wasn't his fault. It was my fault for not placing the tapes in a safe place, away from his curious nature. And even if he was old enough to know, but it was the first time he did it, should he be punished? For example, he opens the refrigerator door and picks up a full gallon of milk, but it's too heavy and he spills the milk all over the kitchen floor. Should he be punished? Perhaps he should have known better, yet it was the first time. This is the time, in my opinion, the parent should explain exactly what happened and why, so that he won't do it again. Now, if he does it again, then a swat on the behind might be appropriate, just as a reminder, but if he continues to do it, then corporal punishment, again under controlled conditions, may be appropriate. Never, ever lash out in anger; however, there needs to be a consequence for repeated poor behavior.
Are there alternatives to spankings? Of course, yet these alternatives need to invoke real consequences to poor behavior. More on this next time.
